The Dengue DiaryThursday, October 17, 2013
The last time (and also the first time ever) I got myself hospitalized was in 1997. I was 5 years old at that time, and my family lived in Johor Bahru. I was hospitalized at Hospital Sultanah Aminah due to appendix. I had an operation to remove my appendix, and I was warded for a week. I can't really remember every details now, as it was a long time ago.
I lived healthily after that, though my weight is always below normal range but never do I get hospitalized. Now is 2013. History repeats itself when I got hospitalized from the 5th of October till the 14th of October 2013 due to dengue fever.
I woke up with a fever on 4th October, it was Friday and I have a class at 10.30am in the morning. My whole body aches, I sneezed non-stop and my throat felt like burning. I went to Pusat Kesihatan UiTM, but the doctor said "you don't have a fever, it's just 36.8 degree Celsius but your throat is kinda red". So she prescribed me with some gargle liquid, vitamin C, jujubes and she also spared me some paracetamols coz she said "just in case you feel feverish".
I went to class after that, shaking and feeling dizzy. The air-cond in class was so cold, and the temperature is fixed, no remote controller or anything to make the class warmer. I sat at the back row, with a blanket I took from the car. I can barely hear what the lecturer babbled about retailing. I only wished for the class to end so that I can go home and lie down.
At 12.30pm the class ended. I went home, lie down and fell asleep, and I remember feeling more feverish than ever, regretting my meeting with that doctor earlier in the morning. Everyone in this world knows that doctors in UiTM clinic treat students like we're just there faking a sickness so that we'll get an MC. You'll only get MC if your temperature is 38 degree Celsius above, no matter how painful and dying you feel. Below 38 degree Celsius? You'll be out of their rooms below 5 minutes.
So at home I slept, feeling weaker as time passed by. After Friday prayer, my bf called, said that he's in front of my gate waiting. He wanted to bring me to another clinic. I told my parents that I wanna go home, I wanna go back to Melaka. My housemates won't be in the house during weekends, they all will go back to their family's home and nobody's gonna be able to take care of the sick me.
But I was unable to wake-up. I was flat on the mattress, kept falling asleep while my bf waited outside. At 6pm, some of my housemates arrived home from work. They woke me up, helped me get dressed, brought me down the stairs and outside to the car. It was nearly 7pm at that time.
My bf brought me to Klinik Najat in Section 7 Commercial Center. The staff there helped me to walk. The doctor examined my condition, and my body temperature was 39 degree Celsius. I was given some pills to be eaten that instant, the doctor said it is important to reduce my body temperature on the spot. I was also given a bottle of water, the doctor said it's the IV Drip water. It tastes weird. Next they gave me antibiotics, and I puked it out right at the clinic. Mom said I had the antibiotics problem since I was a baby, coz I will definitely puke it out right after consuming it, haha! They gave me the antibiotics again, and it was a success. The kind doctor prescribed me with some medicines, he also asked whether I've been to any clinics before. I told him what happened in the morning, what medicine I was given. He told me not to eat the paracetamol as it is unsuitable for my condition, it won't help. I was also instructed to finish the bottle of water he gave.
My bf drove me home straight away, a 3 hour journey back to Melaka. I don't know how fast he drove coz I was asleep the entire journey. It was a record, as I am not the person who sleeps in a moving vehicle. Sickness took me to a different level I guess, achievement unlocked! I don't really recall getting out of the car and how I get inside my house when we arrived at Melaka. Dad wasn't home either, he was in Banting for a course. Mom took care of me the whole night.
On Saturday, 5th October 2013, my bf and my mom brought me to Melaka General Hospital, and I don't even know what time it was when we arrived there, but it must be somewhere after 12 noon. The attendant there put me on a wheelchair, and I was wheeled inside the Emergency Room after waiting for several minutes in the crowded waiting area. I was half awake half-not-realizing what was happening around. The medical assistant and doctors inside there checked my body temperature, 38 degree Celsius. I was put on a bed. There were many people on the other beds, all with IV Drips attached on their hands.
The doctors asked me some questions, and I thought it was damn silly when one of them asked me "Awak duduk Shah Alam kan? Kenapa balik sini? Memang nak masuk hospital kat Melaka ke?" (You get sick in Shah Alam, why did you go back to Melaka? Are you planning to get hospitalized here?). Then they took my blood for sampling, checked my breathing (lung's okay, no weird sound), and when the blood test result arrived, it was a dengue positive. They poked my right hand, inserted an IV Drip and spilled quite an amount of my precious blood on the bed =_='' so, my nightmare has started.
I got warded. The ward for dengue patients is a "special" one and patients, no matter what paper you have (unless you're a royal blood, I think), cannot change to other better wards. We were put in the old building, the place where they put the psychiatric patients. My parents tried to get me transferred to the first class ward, with air-cond, better food and more comfortable place, at the new building since my dad's occupation made me eligible for it, but rules are rules, I must stay there. So some days there, we dengue patients (and nurses and doctors as well) got free "radio" in the form of psychiatric patients screaming non-stop for an hour or less.
I was on IV drip for a day, and on Sunday evening the doctor said I drank enough water on my own so, they're taking the IV drip off. So they took it off, along with the needle attached on my hand. I regret allowing them took the needle off. See the image below? It was taken after they took the IV tube off. That's the needle for IV drip, still inside my hand. The yellow stopper is put on to stop blood from flowing out, and it's where the tube for IV drip is attached. They took this thing off a few hours after this picture was taken. Actually the needle hurts, I had to bath with IV drip still attached, and when I move my hands, I feel the needle poking inside as it is on my wrist. Painful bitch.
The next day, Monday October 6th, my condition became worst. The 39 degree Celsius fever relapsed, I had the worst diarrhea of my life, I vomited twice during the day and another 3 times at night, I also had the worst heartburn ever due to my severe gastric. Fyi, dengue is said to be on its worst when you have diarrhea, stomach pain, vomiting, muscle and joints pain, and I had it all that day. So they decided to put me on IV drip again.
The doctor who did the second IV insertion on me deserves a bitch slap. She poked my frail hand 4 times on Monday night, getting the first 3 attempts wrong as the needle didn't go right into my vein. IT WAS DAMN PAINFUL. I cried, I cried my eyes out while she kept on poking my hand. Blood spilled on the bed again. Incompetent houseman doctor. The nurse on duty that night was at my bed, writing medical reports while waiting to give me my third dose of gastric injection. She saw me crying and asked my mom if I were the last child. "Anak bongsu ke? Manjanya!". I wish I could slap her.
This 2nd IV drip was the worst. The location made it difficult for me to move my wrist at all, as the needle poked my inside successfully every time my hand made a movement or hold anything. I braved through it, went to bath, hold my spoon, hold my mug, open the water bottle and all.
Do you think I only got poked with needles for IV drip? No, there's another story. The doctors took my blood every 6 hours. So, in a day I got needle-poked for about 4 to 6 times. Why 4 to 6 times, why not only 4? Because the incompetent houseman doctors didn't know how to find the right vein, and they ended up poking needles into my arm where my blood never came out. My left arm were practically abused and became badly bruised. On the third and fourth day, one of the doctor did something very strange as poking syringe with needles on my hand is now useless, no blood coming out already. Here's an illustration drawn by yours truly.
After 10 days of torture in the ward, I was finally discharged. I was promised a discharged on the 7th day but nobody came and tell me the good news. My blood was still drawn as usual and only on the 10th day a senior doctor came to check on my condition (the other days were just the same bunch of young doctors) and said I can be discharged already. No more fever, no more vomiting, no more diarrhea. Only some occasional headache, absolute dizziness and shakiness. There was no medications too. Dengue patients must only drink at least 3 liters of water a day to get better.
At home, up till today, I still feel dizzy when I'm awake. I can't really do things properly as both my hands are still bruised and painful even though how many days has passed. It frustrates me a lot. I feel demotivated whenever my hands feel painful and I walk shakily at home. I can't even bear being outside for more than 2 hours, I will feel dizzy, shaky and started to walk like a frail old woman. Every pain I felt when moving my hands or every time I saw the bruises on my arms reminds me of what the doctors did, how painful it was and I will start to feel like being thrown into the deepest pit, my eyes went watery and I mental lectured myself to be tough.
I thank whoever read this post from the beginning till the end. If you're here with me, at this sentence, I wish I could give you a hug. I am not writing this to gain your sympathy or to show what a fragile bitch I am. No. I have to write this out as the negative feeling has been blanketing me like a Death Eater. I'm going back to Shah Alam tomorrow, I'll start attending my classes next Monday, and I need to be out of this negativity today.
I need to "reclaim my life" back from the sickness. It put me 10 days in the ward and made me experience 2 weeks off my normal life routine. I feel very distant from my friends, I feel very distant from life, I feel like an alien. I'm not a drama queen, if you know me in real life. I'm trying my best to hold my tears as I write this. I hope I'll get back on track as soon as possible, as I have a lot to do when this break ends.
I have several reviews delayed. I have 2 major events to be responsible for at the faculty, I have an archery tournament to be fit for (I need my physical and mental at full strength!), and most importantly I have my studies to catch up. I missed a week of class and a test (retailing subject). Oh boy =_=''
Again, thanks for reading my Dengue Diary. I hope this will be all, I want my positive self back. I hope you'll generously spare some of your moment and include me in your prayers. May god bless us all, ameen.